do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
