he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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