I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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