How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dignity is for republicans.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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