Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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