Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
All I want is dick and wine.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
