just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
