it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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