i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
