Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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