I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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