i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
