I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
