i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
