are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
