Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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