dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
This toilet bowl is my home.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
