I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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