im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
