And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
