Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
