Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
