Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
