why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
