just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
