Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
