Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
