Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
wow bdsm is so cute
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize