I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
