Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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