her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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