Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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