I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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