We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
