Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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