I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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