This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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