Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
