Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
