I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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