ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
