Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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