I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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