Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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