Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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