How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
