So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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