Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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