And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
