He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
