They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
